The doctor was running frantically back and forth between his wide arrays of incomprehensibly complex consoles littering the floor of his Tardis, trying his best to safely guide it into a new but not unfamiliar existence.
Rose and the Doctor stepped out into what looked like an old abandoned hospital. The Doctor noticed something eerily familiar about the place, however he could not tell because everything was so dark.
“Hmm power must be out” the doctor remarked staring down the empty corridors,
“well then, you coming?” the Doctor asked Rose.
Rose tentatively stepped out of the Tardis with and obvious unease
“I’m not liking this, I’m not liking this one bit”
Rose said in her undeniably worrisome tone of voice,
“What not afraid of the dark are ya” the Doctor said pocking fun at Rose.
Rose simply gave the Doctor a scathing look and followed closely behind him. The empty halls were lined with old 1940’s era medical equipment, the Doctor now remembered this time and place, it must have been sometime after the events involving his first encounter with Captain Jack.
Something about the place was off, having searched the hospital he noticed that there was nothing wrong with the generator and the power the lights should have been working, furthermore there was still daylight outside but the Tardis had arrived in pitch blackness.
“That’s odd, since we have been here the corridors have gotten brighter but outside it’s almost night” the Doctor remarked.
It was now night outside, the doctor said to rose
“something’s in that building”, Rose replied
“what do you mean something, you know I hate it when you say that”.
Rose was now generally worried she had never known the doctor to be unsure of what something was, and she knew because of his inquisitive nature they were going to have to find out. The doctor promptly about faced and said
“lets go!” he then ran up the steps and stood at the door waiting for Rose,
“I’m not coming” Rose yelled in frustration,
“all right then” the doctor said as he disappeared in to the entrance,
“uggghhhrrrrrrrragaegefa” Rose yelled at the Doctor as she ran after him.
As Rose reached the entrance she thought she heard her name in the whisper of an echo, “DOCTOR” she cried,
her word meeting with a dull and abrupt end as it left her mouth. Rose was now truly worried she had lost the Doctor, her fear of the dark had come flooding back and the way she entered was now shrouded in darkness. Rose ran towards it expecting to hit the door she came in through but was instead met with no resistance at all there was simply nothing there. Rose began to panic, suddenly she felt like she was falling, only she could not tell in what direction. So disorientated by he fear she simply resided herself to curling up in a ball and awaiting her fate what ever it may be.
The Doctor on the other hand was having an altogether different experience, the darkness that was crippling rose was having an all together different affect on the doctor, it was simply fueling his tenacious enthusiasm to find out what this darkness was. On his travels he noticed that one room was that should be in the hospital was not, the room that contained his Tardis. The doctor backtracked to where he was sure the room was, he noticed the light or lack there of was moving oddly, there was no movement to of anything that would cast a shadow.
A dim glow began to shine, it was the doctors Tardis, finally he had found it but it appeared that something had found it first. The doctor heard a resonating whisper coming from the Tardis
“huh, well didn’t know it could do that” said the doctor,
the creature that was the darkness that Rose so feared then communicated to the doctor that it did not belong in this place, and that it in fact lived in space, blending in with the darkness of space the creature had existed without a problem for thousands of years, however the Tardis’s flight path happened to drag the creature down to earth where it arrived with the Doctor and Rose. “Hah so this is my fault” the doctor laughed
“well it’s not the first time something like this has happened, tell ya what, ill take you back out into space hows that? And where is Rose?” The Doctor asked.
After this the creature withdrew into the Tardis, revealing that Rose had in fact been sitting next to the Tardis for the last while
“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT” screamed rose as she stormed towards the Tardis,
“uh you might not want to go in there” the doctor said to Rose,
it was to late rose threw open the door revealing that the darkness was along for the ride, this sent Rose screaming incoherently down the abandoned corridors of the hospital, the Doctor grimaced saying
“O dear this may take a while”.
6 comments:
Hi Hayden
I liked the way you incorporated a lot of dialogue in your piece. Doing so gave strength and interest to your work.
I enjoyed your piece. As a female, I would like to comment on the gender relationship you convey between the doctor and Rose. This appeared quite traditional to me and I am wondering if you have set this piece to relate to the earlier versions of Dr Who? This is because modern literature often addresses the stereotypical helpless, worrying, female image by substituting a stronger, more assertive character depiction. Your text use examples such as 'her undeniably worrisome tone of voice', 'her fear of the dark' and 'disorientated by her fear she simply resigned herself to curling up in a ball and waiting her fate' gave me a sense of Rose as a helpless character needing rescuing by a strong male! Ie, the doctor's portrayal of having an 'inquisitive nature' and 'tenacious enthusiasm'.
Hi Hayden
Interesting storyline with the darkness coming to life, was it your purpose to portray darkness as a living entity outside of the confined and lifeless realm of darkness or could it be opened to interpretation with which the darkness could be seen as death personified!, or maybe they were caught inside of a black hole, which in its self is a moving darkness yet timeless. Just some things I was thinking about when reading your story. I think you done a good job because it's quite a complex storyline and picture to paint visually, but you captured it really well. A few grammar mistakes ie ( fate )unless your French, but don't take it to heart cause there's probably a number of them in my comment. Dr Who is a classic example I think of different variety of plots, characters and genres you could explore, and your fanfic really keeps in line with that. Well done.
Wow, i guess I never really thought about it that way it was not my intention to do this, perhaps further explanation of the characters themselves and the context would have helped. The problem is that in the TV series the doctor is supposed to be an incredibly intelligent being (he is an alien) who is I think about 500 years old, this makes him naturally more adept at dealing with these sorts of unusual situations than anybody be it male or female, because his companion is always female i think it is a unfortunate by-product that the females are portrayed as helpless, on the occasions that the TV series would involve other male humans they are shown to react in a similar way that rose does. The fact that there is only 2 characters in my fan fictions makes it difficult to show this.
Thank you for your comments though i found them very insightful.
Nicely done. This feels like the teaser for an actual episode of Dr Who, as though the intro is about to roll in complete with theme music. I liked the idea for the living dark: the concept of an entity capable of living unsupported in space but also vulnerable to being shifted from there to an unfamiliar environment.
You might want to watch your paragraphing though, it gets a little heavy with unbroken text in some points. Also, each section of "speech" is usually placed as a small separate paragraph for easy definition of who's talking, etc.
Hope that helps with future writing.
Hi hayden
I thought this was going to be a really hard story for me to latch onto because i have no idea who Dr Who is! haha..
and i'm not sure what a tardis is..
But it was actually quite easy for me to latch onto the story.
I'm geussing that doctor who kind of similar to Sliders?
Anyway..
I think u did a really good job.
i like how you follow up the quotes with something more interesting then he said or she said.
It helped the flow of your story.
It was a good idea that you only used two characters in your story as this uncomplicates things..
Just a few spelling mistakes.But no biggie..
Good job!
Thanks for your explanation Hayden. I'm much clearer of the context now. I had no idea he was around 500 years old. I think it was good you only involved two characters as this avoided overcrowding the text.
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